We've had our required two hours of sexual harassment training at work recently. It always makes me think of how I've reacted to inappropriate situations in the past and how they would be dealt with today.
1981
Age: 19
Perp: Guy at DQ
A guy at DQ came in while we were slammed. I was behind the counters taking the orders and then making them (I made peanut buster parfaits in 20 seconds. Never forget.) As I say, we were slammed, and most customers rattled off what they wanted to speed up the line. This guy murmured, "I want a big, thick, firm banana, with a scoop of soft white ice cream, extra creamy, and some nuts - big, heavy salty nuts, and a sweet little cherry on top. And then I want a scoop with some thick, fudgy, dark, black, extra heavy fudge sauce - ."
What I did back in the day
I turned on my heel and went back and got the owner. "There's this guy and he's ordering ... dirty."
The owner came out and took the man's order personally. Dirty Man cleaned it right up. The owner snapped, "Yeah. That's how you'd better talk in my store."
What I would do today
Just the same thing. Of course, DQ Man was just ordering a banana split and we could absorb that cost. And, DQ boss backed me up, he called in no witnesses, asked for no documentation.
Where they are now
I am sure DQ man pulled the same stunt at the next DQ.
1982
Age: 20
Perp: Dennis, IHOP Regular
Some Father's Day story got me thinking of how I learned to drive. It wasn't my dad, it was Dennis, a regular at the IHOP where I worked. He sold me a car, and taught me to drive by taking me out about 50 miles in the country. Then he had me drive back roads to get home while he told me highly inappropriate stories and dirty jokes.
What I did back in the day
I remember the look on Mom's face when she asked me how the evening had gone and I gave her the description above. I did tell her he had stopped talking "dirty" when we stopped to get ice cream shakes and I suggested he should hold his right between his legs. She said, "Oh, you'll be just fine. I won't worry about you."
What I would do today
Hell no, I wouldn't have drive 50 miles into the country with some man.
Where they are now
No idea. I've been to the IHOP; didn't see him. Car lot is gone. Might be dead.
1987
Age: 25
Perp: Karl M at the Old Company
I think I've told you this story before. We had a gorgeous receptionist, and one day I overheard Karl M____ speaking to her very unprofessionally. I asked Diana, the receptionist, and she said it was unwelcome, so a few days later I pulled Karl over and said, "Hey, don't talk to Diana that way. It makes her feel uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable? Did it make you feel uncomfortable? Does it make you uncomfortable my dick is hard right now?"
What I did back in the day
I shut up. With extreme prejudice. I shut up around Karl M____ , to a degree that people began asking why. I'd just answer, "I don't like the things he has to say."
What I would do today
Well, of course, I would talk. Diana and I would tell other women, and then we'd tell our supervisor, and he would tell the HR person, and Karl's ass would be on the street.
Where they are now
His employment history on Facebook suggests he has been in management at another company since 1992. There is also photo of him wearing a fake afro and sunglasses answering a phone. I bet he's head of HR.
It is good to see how far we have come, both in common sense and not tolerating that crap. Ugh, Kreepy Karl - gross that he ever thought it was okay...too bad you didn't accidentally kick him in the nuts...
Posted by: Mare | June 20, 2012 at 09:20 AM
Mare - But still, we have to rely on HR to deal with it. I think we need to cmbine HR AND nut-kicking. "Mr.M____, please report for your firm-required nut-kicking."
Posted by: TheQueen | June 21, 2012 at 10:54 PM