Kind of a horrifying thing happened at work this week.
We are blending two departments together, and one thing that's been instituted is a suggestion box. I saw the Change Committee team get on the elevator carrying the suggestion box. They were heading for a meeting.
Here is where I have to rely on my two eyewitnesses: Linda M_____ my team leader and Sarah D_____, a project manager.
Sarah, a delicate sweet flower, was reading through the suggestions and found one that said:
"TELL ELLEN S______ TO STOP WALKING AROUND BAREFOOT!"
She was appalled. She thought, "This uses an employee's name! This is not what the suggestion box is supposed to be used for!" Shaken, she flipped it on the table writing side down and slid it over to Linda M_____, my Team Leader.
I was just sitting at my desk when Linda walked past my desk on the way back from the meeting. "Oh," she laughed nervously, "I have to talk with you about something that came up at the meeting. Let me put my stuff at my desk."
She came back and said, "It's a suggestion box comment."
"The suggestion box?" I asked, alarmed. "What?"
"Well, this was in the suggestion box." She slid "TELL ELLEN S______ TO STOP WALKING AROUND BAREFOOT!" across my desk.
My jaw dropped. Thank God I never stuck my feet in a company toilet.
She giggled, "You seem to be wearing shoes now."
"Oh my God!" I said, "Who would say something like that?"
"I don't know," she jabbered, "Someone who hates feet? Do you have enemies? Did you write it?"
I paused. "Of course I did." I can lie, but I can't hold up under a direct question. "I had to see if you were taking the suggestion box seriously."
Thankfully, she laughed in relief, but it was nothing compared to the relief Sarah expressed when Linda told her it was a plant. She came by and gave me the details. I was a little sad, because they didn't discuss my feet extensively at the meeting. I have been known to dash off to the printer barefoot if I can't find my shoes. I feel self-conscious every time I do it.
Well, not now. Who's going to complain? HAHahahaaHAha.