No one should be surprised I have a modest collection of hats.
It is a modest collection of tasteful hats, which should surprise you. It surprised me when I went through my hat collection, searching for a hat grand enough for the Kentucky Derby. Specifically, grand enough for the brief moment I will be on TV, because somehow I scored row A, on the rail, section 125, right past the last turn, just where Secretariat made a break for it.
So here are my hats.
(Before you ask, it is a latex glove mold.)
Hats, in order of combined size and taste.
Black eyebrow hat
Wedding Cake Hat
Sad Sloppy Hat
Formidable Nanny Hat
Faded Crumpled Hat
Sun Avoidance Hat
I wore Wedding Cake Hat to many weddings. Tea Hat accompanied me to tea at the Ritz in London. Since I am not a French Country farm girl, I never really found a good use for French Hat. Formidable Nanny Hat got the most use, especially when I discovered salespeople at Plaza Frontenac sought me out when I wore it.
Not a single hat is appropriate for Derby Day. So, just as I did with my wedding dress, I can take the time spent shopping and just design and make what I want.
There was a day I wouldn't have to consider the shape of my face, but now I do. I shall bring back the wimple, no question about that.
And of course a huge brim, if I'm going to be walking next to these ladies:
I LOVE that this woman spilled something on her boob:
Obviously some birds and a few ostrich feathers.
And we love the stuff piled up under the hat:
Though that almost looks tasteful next to the Gold Standard of Horse Race hats:
So you see while none of my hats will do.