« Stupid Typepad | Main | UPDATED: Alley: A is for Alley »



Never have I been so happy not to have a photograph posted.

You would think that a motion-detecting toilet would, by definition, have organised the courtesy flush for you.


Big Dot - OH! Oh! I missed the "motion" joke! Points for you!


Country ham is country ham, no matter what state you're in, so far as I can tell. It is tasty in many ways but in Eggs Benedict is not one of them. The chef is obviously deranged and trying much too hard.



Bat sifgnal and pre meet in allet
Motionn activated bs odor activated because so
Wtimes there a smell but you can't get up fridge
Can hear Gary every drop
Subconscious Virgil link at end
Cursing in room duck piece of shit

Was the best not a post ever.


So sorry I missed that post. Thanks, magpie!

Personally, I think that country ham is just fine in tiny chunks flavoring your unsalted grits or split pea soup, but really, that stuff is SALTY. It's salt cured. I wouldn't want to eat it without the salt leeched out of it, somehow.

You should just eat the greens, though, they're good for you.

Wait - I just noticed - There's no Hollandaise. I was just about to make the point that you can wash away the taste of the greens with delicious fatty egg sauce when I realized the enormity of their error. What the hell kind of Benedict has NO HOLLANDAISE? Unacceptable. Proof is now a failure in my eyes.


I'm worrying that the 'can hear Gary every drop' is a continuation of the later chat about the Good Wife post.


Becs - Yes! I'll never make that mistake again. No more, please.
Magpie - Forget you ever read it!
Tami - I just left them a comment on their site. However, Gary's egg-white-omelet-with-bacon was great.
Big Dot - Actually, no! All this was originally going in this post (errors corrected): "Motion-activated [toilets] are bs. [They should be] odor activated, because sometimes there a smell, but [regrettably] you can't get up [to activate them. Because you are pooping.]" I edited out the "fridge" story. (The light burned out in our refrigerator. I bought a motion-detecting light, and after a fun evening waving our hands over it we realized the only motion it could detect was when you would pick it up and shake it. I've wanted to bring it up somehow but it just doesn't translate.) And "Can hear Gary every drop" is because Gary was having the same issue in the next bathroom, and he never lets his accumulate. Every drop must be flushed. What pissed me off is he knew where the magic button was on his (or else he was lunging off his seat and then back on).

AND - Big Dot - it was late and somehow "bowel movements" and "bowel motions" got confused in my head. Somehow I thought you had made a SPECTACULAR reference to "bowel motions" I had missed. I've only confused myself more now.


Good grief - so how many times does Gary flush during an evacuation? He must never travel to Australia.

And no! You were right first time: motion is a synonym of movement in this sense too, or at least it is here. So my points stand.

I actually thought you'd decided to forego the motion joke as being too obvious. (That's foreign concept to me, obviously.)


Big Dot - Gary flushes once per molecule. His anus would be as arid as Australia if he didn't use the Charmin with Lanolin and Aloe.

The comments to this entry are closed.