@Polyester_Angel re-tweeted* a fine article : The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas
I saw the headline and started making my own list. 1) Hammer tampons up there right after puberty 2) Put carrots up there right after puberty 3) Lose tampons up there (everyone's got a story) 4) Put Hershey's kisses up there and then they do NOT melt and do NOT come out easily (everyone's got a story) 5) Wash them with something too harsh, like Irish Spring 6) Spray them with perfume (ow) or FDS** (Marcia has a story).But No! This is the list.
1. Problem: Your Vagina Smells Bad / Solution: Vaginal Deodorant
2. Problem: Your Vagina is Dirty / Solution: Douching
3. Problem: Your Vagina is Too Loose / Solution: Vaginal Rejuvenation
4. Problem: Your Vagina is Ugly / Solution: Labiaplasty
5. Problem: Your Vagina Tastes Bad / Solution: Vagina Mints
6. Problem: Your Vagina is the Wrong Color / Solution: Vaginal Bleaching and Dying
I'm pretty mad after reading this article. However, I'm torn between loyalty to my sex and the realization there is a great untapped opportunity here:
7. Problem: Your Vagina Sounds Bad / Solution: Vaginamonica
The Vaginamonica would be positioned at the cervix, like a diaphragm, where it would react to changes in vaginal air pressure by sounding different notes on essentially a harmonica. ***
Excellent article though. An excerpt: "[Use] ...any time your vagina isn't as dry as a British sitcom."
*I don't know if this is the correct APA citation style for a re-tweet.
** Feminine Deodorant Spray
*** Of course, it would be easier to plant one of those microchips they use for the musical cards on the g-spot, then one poke there and you could play a cheery tune. Or, whatever tune you want. Well, except for Beatles tunes. So, no It Won't Be Long or Fixing a Hole or Why Don't We Do It in the Road or Come Together.