The Stereo System, as told in a Series of Quotes by Gary.
"Everything's cabled up. Some of it even works. I want credit for the cabling."
He takes two dark chocolates from the darker chocolate twin of the box he got me for Valentine's.
"Bleh! These cremes are awful!"
"Listen to this, Ellen! You know how I haven't touched the speaker system for two days because the tiVO wasn't working? Look at this! If I jiggle the cable it makes sound now!"
"Come on, tivO, wake up baby ... wake up .. fuck. (Yells) TIVO'S DEAD. Let's see if the Xbox is working."
"Holy crap! Xbox is working fine. Well, the old XBox is. Let see what the new one is like."
"What? Fuck! I can't get the XBox to work. Well, let me look at the manual."
Comes in to my little room to talk to me about the XBox 360.
"Well, the manual says [droning Gary white noise] and then I should what? What? That makes no sense. Ellen? Ellen? This makes no sense."
"Oh! I picked up the old XBox manual! Well, that won't do me any good."
"Why would I do that?"
"I've got the old manual here, that's why it isn't working."
"Ta-Da! TIVO WORKS! The back cable was just hanging out."
"Fuck! The back right speaker doesn't work. There's no point in having surround sound if the back right speaker doesn't work."
"It's not the speaker hon, it's the cable in the attic. But that makes no sense. Why would a cable go bad just from being in the attic?"
"No, really, we have to have a back right speaker. I'll need to research wireless speakers."
"Well, the internet says that to put in wireless speakers I'll need to have an electrical source in the attic."
"Well, I don't want to either." (Heavy crushed sigh.) "But it looks like we haven't had that speaker for a long time anyway. " (Sound of dreams dying.) "I guess I'll just push everything back now that it's all working."
Which he did, and he swept up a little! It looks so lovely again. I can see the floor again! I love my present!
Plus the new high-def everything is phenomenal.