"Gary, did you read the blog today? I just want to check my facts. The commenters are horrified by your mom's behavior with the dog. I need to be sure I'm not making false accusations."
"MASTURBATING THE DOG?" Gary screamed.
"Right! I'm thinking that I heard wrong when you said your Mom was rubbing Tinkerbell's vaginal folds. Maybe you meant she was just rubbing her belly like we do with Mac sometimes, when it's a whole belly rub and sometimes we might just swoop over the penis fast."
"Oh, no. Mom was specifically rubbing the vaginal folds. She just wasn't MASTURBATING THE DOG. She was only scratching that part because the dog can't get to it to scratch. You made it sound like some kind of inter-species lesbianism."
"Oh." (Inter-species lesbianism soon to outpace Spunky Labia on search engines.)
He continued, "Like when we scratch the base of the dog's penis because he can't get to it and he likes anything scratched he can't get to."
So, I have been corrected. Scratching the dog's vaginal folds. Not to be mistaken for masturbating the dog. I apologize for any confusion this might have caused.