When I was young, but still old enough to attend to myself in the hours after school but before my parents came home, Mom would come home and ask:
"What did you do this afternoon?"
"You must have done something."
"I watched TV."
"Oh." (pause) "I mean, what productive thing did you do today?"
She got it from her German Mom, she says, and now that she's retired and not well, she has to spend a good deal of time not producing.
I thought of Mom Saturday when I slept till noon, got up, surfed the 'net, took a nap, watched TV, read my book, painted my toenails, and watched Some Like It Hot from beginning to end. (Which, funny movie, no? You think you've seen it? No. You haven't seen it beginning to end in one block. You've seen bits of it between shows and on the Academy Awards. It kills.)
I had a completely unproductive day.
I ignored my list of Stuff To Do.
I wasn't sure how to feel about it.
So today I took another day off. I took off because Gary, in an unprecedented move, got so sick he couldn't go in to work. Usually he is at least healthy enough to whine "I neeeeed asssspirin. Where's my sooooda? Ellen, I left my glasses in the other room, and now I'm in beeeeed..." So I schlep and carry and get verbally abused because there is an unwritten S______ law that if you are sick you get to be as big an ass as you can. (Oh. OH. And I go to Walgreen's to get bendy straws. NOT the regular straws. BENDY straws. I'll never forget that episode.)
Anyway, oddly, he slept all day and all I did was to transfer his laundry from the washer to the dryer. And slept. I'd wake up, he was asleep. So I slept, and maybe surfed a little, and thought, I can wear my blue pants tomorrow, those are clean. Why iron? And I think I like this unproductive life.
Mom called toward the end of the Wasted Day of Unproductivity. I thought it was because her Mom Senses could tell I was wasting my time, but after I hung up and turned on the TV I realized the Republican National Debate WAS ON AND SHE WAS CALLING TO CHECK IF I WAS DRUNK. Hah! Well, played, Queen Mother, well played.