I don't send Christmas cards, and after years of this anti-social behavior I don't get Christmas cards either. I certainly don't send out a Christmas newsletter, but I love getting them and reading them. "Our youngest, Amy, has proved to be a challenge, but we are sure she soon will find as much success in school as her older siblings." You think, "My God what did Amy do this year that no one can find a kind word to say about her?"
After Mom's kids were grown she starting sending out a Christmas newsletter, in inimitable Queen Mother fashion. This is her newsletter from 1997:
It has been an eventful year.
In January David flew from Albuquerque to meet a woman he had been visiting with via the Internet. They liked what they saw and were married within the week. They settled down in Steelville.
At some point lightning struck their trailer and fried all Dave's media and electronic stuff as well as his computer. He then took a hard look at his surroundings and with his wife's encouragement departed from the silent scenic Ozarks for the fast track here in St. Louis.
As luck would have it I had shattered my right upper arm, elbow and wrist in March and thought it might not be a bad idea for Dave to hang out here. He agreed, so we fixed a little apartment in the room behind the garage and we got all his media repaired, replaced, and humming again. He finally settled down enough to get divorced and on Dec. 23 got that over with.
On another note my dearest friend and mother-in-law died in September. Her mind was bright as a penny up to the end, when her 92 year old body failed her. She wasn't here to share my concerns when Ellen was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
"STOP!" you say. "This is the most discouraging, depressing letter for anyone to send out at the most joyful time of year." Well, you could imagine that if you didn't know better. Actually, both my kids have been there for me in ways I would never have dreamed possible. David is just the most handy person I ever have lived with. He can fix plumbing, electrical things, empty gutters, caulk, shop, cook, and clean. The list is endless. And Ellen ... "
(Edited to fit your screen.)
I am proud to say that people always crack up when they get to the part about my MS. You did too, didn't you? It's okay.
I'm not having the best month so far, myself, nor is Mom. I think what I need is just one more little thing to push it over the edge into hilarity...