So I was puttering about Queen Mom's Northern estate today, talking about Gary, and I of course used the word "tirade." In a sentence. As in:
"Gary started off on a tirade about - "
"TI-rade," Mom said.
"I said that."
"No, you said tiRADE. As if it rhymed with parade."
I remembered when Michael D_____ and I were dating, and he said something was "banal." He pronounced it "BAYnull." "Bah-NAHL, darling," we corrected him. Nope, turns out both are correct.
That is why the first thing I did when I got home was look up tirade, and luckily for me both pronunciations are acceptable.
However, I would never gloat about mispronunciations, especially to the Queen Mother, because she witnessed the Unfortunate Incident Occurring on My Twentieth Birthday.
For my twentieth birthday, I went to see some friends of my Mom, because I was just THAT popular, and on the way home she asked what I thought of Carolyn's house.
"I liked the inside," I mused, "but I didn't like the fuk-aid."
"The what?" Mom asked.
"The fuk-aid, Muthuuurrrr," I sighed, and if you took my picture at that moment you could put it right next to bershon in the Urban Dictionary.
"I have never heard that word. Spell it," Mom demanded.
I sighed. My god, she went to college, how is it she doesn't know anything? "F-a-c-a-d-e," I spelled.
And that is why I bow to my Mom in all things pronunciational.