Okay. I got my temporary crown replaced with a permanent one. And it spawned a brilliant idea that will make me rich.
9:00 am -- I walk into the dentist, starving.
9:01 am -- I request drugs.
9:02 am -- They give me a shot of Novocaine, damnit, not my drug of choice (because you know how I loves me the nitrous oxide).
9:10 am -- My stomach stops growling.
And that's when it hit me. I think Novocaine numbs not just your mouth, but some of it dribbles down to your stomach and numbs your stomach. My appetite was gone for the rest of the day! So just swallow some numbing agent and then you don't need your stomach stapled.
I think this would have to be over-the-counter, because otherwise the kids would be trying to make the designer copycat drug. I believe Caroline suggested Anbesol®, but that would numb up your lips too much. Maybe a very very diluted Novocaine that you could mix with Coke.
Or rather, NovaCoke©.
(Seriously, kids, don't try this at home. Because it would never work. Because if it did, I'd know about it. Listen to your Auntie Ellen.)