Marcia (see here) has finally moved into the spacious, gracious condo she has struggled to bring into the world. I stopped by ("just for a minute") and discovered an addled, shaking shell of a friend that only vaguely resembled Marcia. Marcia immediately reminded me she had not invited me over and what was I doing there? Unloading a few boxes in the hopes of seeing her porn, I answered.
I never found the secret porn stash. What I un-boxed were dozens (literally dozens) of candle holders and candles and candle accessories. I began by asking Marcia where she wanted the candles, or her dog's supplies, or the Tupperware...but sadly Marcia just stared at me blankly and then would murmur something like "In the, um, there by the thing there." Then she would try really hard to make a sentence. So cute. She'd start out fine. "Put it in ... oh, photos...See? See me. I was a baby."
At first she was the walking dead, moaning in agony about her feet and general exhaustion, then I turned around and there she was in the middle of the kitchen sitting on a cooler and looking at me as if to say "Do I know you? Why are you in my kitchen?" I had been working my way down the kitchen counter making executive decisions about where things should go and demanding she pitch valuable family heirlooms. I was getting more and more concerned that she might be permanently confused, so I tried to make her focus by being more animated myself, so we would not lose her. I grabbed things and tossed them about. I grabbed a cunning little white candle that was inside a cut-glass tumbler.
"Oh look! ANOTHER candle" I whooped, tossing my arms apart expressively. I was almost ready to pound on her chest a la ER. ( "Stay with us Marcia! Damn it, don't you leave yet.")
"Milk" she said distractedly.
She had been saying random words, so I just thought this was another rambling, until I noticed there was considerably less white candle in the cunning cut-glass tumbler.
So I got a dishcloth and wiped up the milk as she laughed at me. "Oh!" she said with a scary spacey giggle, "Oh, I am so going to blog this."
Yeah, well girl, you don't have a DSL connection, and you won't until Friday. So HA.